1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
2. A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
3. Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
4. A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
5. I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
6. When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
7. Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
8. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
9. A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
10. Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
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