TWELVE INCH RADIO JOKE

A guy calls into a radio station and he says he has a joke for the DJ. The DJ goes, “Alright, let's hear it.” The guy goes, “What has a 2 inch penis and hangs down?” The DJ says, “I dunno, what?” The guy says, “A bat. What has a 12 inch penis and hangs up?” The DJ replies, “I dunno, what?” Next thing the DJ hears is a dial tone.

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SMALL TOWN JUSTICE

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. ''But officer,'' the man said, ''I can explain.'' ''Just be quiet!!!'' snapped the officer. ''Or I'm going to let you cool off in jail until the chief gets back.'' ''But officer, I just wanted to say...'' ''And I said KEEP QUIET! Now you're going to jail!'' A few hours later, the officer checked up on his prisoner and said, ''Lucky for you the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a great mood when he gets here.'' ''Don't count on it,'' said the prisoner. ''I'm the groom.''

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PHOTO TRAP

A motorist gets caught in an automated speed trap that photographs his car. He later receives a ticket in the mail for $40 with a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sends the police department a photograph of $40. A few days later, he gets a letter from the police department with a picture of handcuffs.

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OLD MAN AND THE PUNK

A young punk gets on the cross-town bus. He's got spiked, multi-colored hair that's green, purple, and orange. His clothes are a tattered mix of leather rags. His legs are bare and he's wearing worn-out shoes. His entire face and body are riddled with pierced jewelry and his earrings are big, bright feathers. He sits down in the only vacant seat that's directly across from an old man who glares at him for the next ten miles. Finally, the punk gets self-conscious and barks at the old man, "What are you looking at you old fart... didn't you ever do anything wild when you were young?" Without missing a beat, the old man replies, "Yeah, back when I was young and in the Navy, I got really drunk one night in Singapore and screwed a parrot.... I thought maybe you were my son.''

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PLASTERED LAWYERS

Q: How many lawyers does it take to plaster a wall? A: It depends how hard you throw them.

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OSAMA IS CELEBATE

Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his five wives? Because every time he spreads their legs he sees Bush.

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CLINTON GETS PISSED OFF

Bill Clinton walks out on to his front porch, and written in urine was ''The president must go.'' Bill Clinton storms into his office and demaned to know who did it. So his two body guards run out to find out who it was. Five hours later the two gaurds come back in, they told Bill, ''We have some bad news, and we have worse news.'' ''What is the bad news?'' asked Bill. ''Well, the bad news is, we took a urine test, and it was his vice-president, Al Gore." " Whats the worst news?" asked Bill. The worst news is that it is Hillary's hand writing!"

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